funny responses to what are you doing this weekend

Dont ask each of us the same question. We should definetely try to avoid stealth scheduling questions. An alternative then is to actually mention the fact that you are sending them an email. If the other person isnt in a chatty mood, we go comfortably silent after a few pleasantries because the Small Talk Gods have been appeased. Good to know! Jackpot! My mom recently moved from but why? to Ok, I guess you dont love me which is actually a sign things are going my way because its not a direct question. Ill assume thats the case and check back later. Wanna do something? or You free Saturday? This is OT, but if someone would like to explain how its supposed to work in the US, Id appreciate it. Like if I can magically guess the exact time theyre free and what they want to do with literally no input from them I guess I win hanging out with someone who wasnt that enthusiastic with the suggestion that we make plans? If it doesnt work with my schedule, I will tell you. So of course, you tell her, youll all walk separately from now on (keep the cheery loud voice of happy certainty and smile hugely the whole time). Or is it more like she doesnt get involved into such decisions but you expect her to follow through and water your radishes? I dislike being asked this question too, except in my case its more that I dont want to be asked this question by coworkers, ever. LW, I forgot the part where you said some of this is coming from people youre chatting to on dating websites, and you feel like its an attempt to get you to plan the date. Them (if it was an invitation prequel) would Thursday at noon work for you?, Them We need to have lunch soon I loathe this question, and Ive been getting it a lot lately. Its not lazy that I did X this week which meant I was in pain by Friday night. Because Im white, I fortunately have the privilege of knowing that 9 times out of 10 its just genuine curiosity and an attempt at polite small talk (theres always the 1 thats still xenophobic, though, like the cashier who blurted out when are you leaving, then? or the psychiatrist who refused me medical treatment because I should be going back to my home country soon anywayIm married and staying here, sorry to disappoint). I dont have any good answers because that particular form of domestic abuse excessively leaning on the partner for a deluge of small things to the point it is messing up the partners life is pandemic in American culture right now, nearly always but not always done by men to women. And found myself saying yes more often than I wanted to. Does that mean that these women would get constant requests for free tech support? Later the grad students said the table turned to remarking on the professor as soon as she was out of earshot, including their surprise that she could be a professor of engineering. Published on August 6, 2022. It sounds to me like an attempt to take away my ability to say no. I chitchat with cashiers so its totally fine to say something like, Ah, gosh, so crazy today I got a flat tire and Im just grabbing something easy for dinner. In other words if you have the time and energy to construct a lowkey, mildly entertaining story then go for it, otherwise just stick with Great, how are you? and you can let the conversation drop from there. It kind of sucks to be going about your business and then people remind you that you dont fit in. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. So, now give me my money back. I love so hard your example in #3. You dont need to read their minds as to what they mean, suss out what they mean next, or throw up defenses against prying nosiness; most of the time, it will not be necessary. Doesnt work with friends / family obviously, but I have to consult my husband every single time when it comes to sales pitches / offers in retail / invitations from strangers etc. Im glad youre no longer friends with that jerk. Its technically true and covers pretty much any emotion you might be feeling. Setting that aside for the moment, its apparently *supposed* to go like this: I expect either Oh were going to see New Movie/having a picnic/running errands or I dunno, usually followed by how about you? Its a low pressure small talk question, most of the time. Sometimes I might even say, its okay if you dont want to, its not urgent, but I was wondering if you could possibly help babysit Saturday? Thats kind of taking it 4 out of context to say they dont understand. I am eating. This will not go away. a s h l e y. Which is honest at least. Thats my favorite response! It almost feels like if they just sneak up on me with some super fun plans I might say yes more often. Number 6 is my answer to " why don t u want to have kids ? Me: Fine, thanks. 2. If I just say it sounds fun but Im not up to it, they respect that. Happy Weekend Wishes, Messages and Quotes - WishesMsg I dont give any indication as to what I am up to until they tell me what they are up to. There are at least two distinct why do you ask? which are sadly distinguished only by tone. And then I would walk away thinking that was a really awkward conversation and wonder if that person didnt like me or was fishing for an invitation to something or what. Man, that sounds great, but I know Im forgetting something on my calendar. [I often go in around lunch time.] But in the age of smart phones I also find Im going to have to check my email before I say yes to that, so let me get back to you helpful. I am a Guess person, and that is not going to change (and I often feel annoyed at people who seem to think that it shouldmy brain wiring is okay, too! as much as it is practicing not giving into pressure to give an explanation of your schedule OR an immediate answer. Nothing obviously inappropriate has happened, I dont think I need to talk to his supervisor (I dont want him fired, it would just be nice if hed back off on his own, but IDK if that will happen, or maybe he will transfer or change hours (I thought he had for a few months last year when I did not see him at all)). Im pretty thoughtful about when I feel Im entitled to expect her participation, and when Im not. It is perfectly ok to want some calm alone time or time with a cat watching Winter Olympics (that is actually great, our cats especially seem to love skiing) and no-one else really needs to know. (You could also just say no and keep going, but that can cause conflict with them, which you might or might not want.) Its okay that I usually spend my weekends watching movies/playing videogames/reading and those arent shameful hobbies. Ok. ( This simple expression embodies the fact that you don't give a f*ck!) If you have never phrased commands to her that way, yup, thats on her. Him: Doing anything else? I dont think my friends are trying to put me on the spot at all. Its the pre-request that to me frequently feels almost manipulative or entrapping. What are you doing this weekend? Its also pretty casual, and most people automatically reply to that question because its so common. They see how often constantly males can throw a tantrum about how theyre being bitches, where the males only complaint is, I asked her questions, and she refused to answer! That alone is enough for him to feel justified in escalating the threats, anger, violence. The second interpretation of this question is, what are you doing in life? Soft invites in my friend circle are more just a mutually understood shorthand for I value your friendship so Im going to express a genuine desire to hang out even were both depressed and introverted and therefore the likelihood of this actually happening is pretty low.. Lead with the actual invitation. In the case of friends and dates, I feel like sometimes its a slightly manipulative way of getting me to do the actual asking / planning. Its all the other situations I listed that bother me the ones where I dont always know the purpose of the question / true intent of the asker, or I suspect its to get me to do something. Because as far as I can tell, youre saying you want to be treated with the closeness of family, only you seem pretty adamant you dont actually want to be family with her in the sense of two adults choosing to be together and support each other as family youre very clear that you want a relationship where you retain levels of dominance and control only suitable with a minor child. Want to go to the turnip festival with me or are you busy? Well, Im not busy but I also dont want to go to any turnip festival ever. Guys, sorry, I wont be able to make it., The kitty I am catsitting has fallen asleep in my lap. Kind of a random revelation after reading everyones advice and responses: I think this is up for me right now because Im new to the online dating world and, because of my past experience with my family, I am having a hard time telling if the question is of the innocuous kind (like when co-workers ask my plans for the weekend), a soft opening to trying to ask me out, or the kind of manipulation that Ive, for better or for worse, learned to be on alert for. I understand theyre looking for an ice breaker, but its not that interesting to talk about Ill probably get to laundry if Im not too lazy. I wish there was another common conversation starter among people you already know. Its okay that sometimes Im in physical pain and need time to recuperate. But sometimes that comes across as I just dont want to, and thats pretty hurtful. I can tell you out of personal experience that the constant repetition of this makes you feel a lot like you will never be fully accepted as part of the society/community you live in. And then deflect back on to them. Usually, the asker will tell me why they asked after I answer, no matter what the answer is (busy, not busy, dont know). And then they get all pissy because the girl is taken aback by being asked out so abruptly by this guy about whom she knows pretty much nothing except his appearance. If someone challenges me on something, my default response is to assume the other person is right and I am wrong. Because people look forward to the weekend, they often start talking about it as early as Wednesday. What are some funny or witty responses for when someone ask you - Quora That is a question I ask a lot, but its aim for me usually isnt to exepect that if they are not doing things they will be free for whatever I want. IDK. I am not anyones manic pixie dream social secretary. Theres a world of small talk out there that doesnt Other a person, and being genuinely curious is not a justification for anything. For me, laundry is a good excuse, because you can make it seems as small or as big as youd like. Thats thats exactly what makes it a microagression. My answer to this question is almost invariably Not sure yet, why? or Havent quite decided, how about you?, This might elicit a Well I was just wondering if youd like to to which I will respond, That sounds better than what I was planning, count me in or Hmm, thanks for thinking of me but I dont think Ill be able to this time. It is a question that can be answered or echoed and nobody minds too much. I should add it somewhat depends on how well I know the person. I also come from an area that tends to do a lot more indirect communication than I think many parts of the US, though, and tend to prefer a softer communication style unless someones being either rude or unaware enough to force me into being blunt. See also, sometimes when someone is rude or difficult, I will pretend they said something nice or appropriate and respond with a total non-sequitur. But then she would ask me to babysit her toddler. I went to a lot of meetings I did not want to go because of this, cause I pretty much was cornered into it after admitting I have not set plans.. But I like to think that Im better at saying no now, even though people do sometimes react badly. But people should take turns is different from someone else should always go first (or for gendered/other status reasons, I should always go first). Which I learned is a great policy to do with favor sharks. Hed ask me what Im doing for the weekend and when i started to tell him a selection of my actual plans hed cut me off while I was talking to make fun of how boring or lame I am or some other stupid comment. "That is very thoughtful of you, it was a nice weekend.". No matter how old you are, you don't want to be badgered about your life choices. #2 is a good point. Helen Huntingdon, I dont want you to think Ive dismissed all your argumentsyouve certainly given me pause and gotten me to think about what my expectations are. Or else, Id rather people not start a conversation unless they have something specific to say, unless its somebody like my sister who I know well enough to talk about nothing and enjoy it. Im self employed so I can realistically be working at any time and date. I think theres some ask culture vs. guess culture stuff in here too? For example, I used to host (board and card) game nights at my home, and Id create an event on Facebook, invite everyone who was part of this group, and ask them to please let me know as soon as they knew whether or not theyd be there, at least by the day before, so I could plan how much food Id need to buy/make. This is absolutely true; it IS rude to put someone on the spot like that. 2. See also: people who wont pick a restaurant, when the answer to every question is whatever you want.***. They dont really need the details, and wouldnt know what to do with them. Im asking because you absolutely will pay for it in terms of impacts on the long-term relationship with the person she will become. Nanani, that is absolutely true. I find looking out for the people who cause difficulty when things dont go their way, is more useful than trying to figure out all the numerous different ways common interactions could be interpreted and trying to use the right one for every situation. and get back to work.) 1. 2. Im in my late 50s and, frankly, my plans for the weekend are likely to be boring to this younger inquirer. Which for neurotypical types, is something that may not be hard to adapt to, but youre kind of being set up to failbecause that kind of question is exactly the kind of thing you would have been taught to do in kindergarten. Ex.1. HUGE, HUGE, HUGE numbers of parents of adult children pull this exact same rude little stunt, and its designed to make the adult child respond to powerful guilt buttons installed by the parent and capitulate to what the parent wants, because the adult child is programmed to believe if they dont have a good enough excuse, they have to go attend on the parent at the time in question. Ive had trouble with that one, too. But no one argues against working! To those who are wondering why this is such a big deal when its just a social pleasantries thing: I *almost* put this in my original questions but left it out for length and (I thought) irrelevance -The question does not bug me at all when people ask at work or social functions as a way to make conversation. I didnt feel like talking to her much for several months. We assume you wont want to share all your more detailed baggage or bad news with someone you dont know very well and we are a little taken aback if you actually do because it indicates that you feel a level of closeness with us that we didnt necessarily feel with you. That question from certain people stresses me too! Im trying to train her out of the habit. I ticked the following boxes: 1) had conversation, 2) got her to talk about herself, 3) gave her questions so she could talk about herself some more to make her feel good, 4) she was talking to me, AND I saw her smile! Julia has been . You are never going to stop hearing this question from relative strangers and new acquaintances, but I think with close friends or family, you should be able to say to them the next time, you know Im a pretty straightforward person; if you want to invite me to something you can just ask me directly. or some variation thereof. I read that post all the time. friend: yooooooooo goodyou If I have to treat her like a grownup, and not like my minor child that I can boss around, she can fucking treat ME like a grownup, and not like her mommy that she takes for granted. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Mittens and I can primal scream together. I really need to catch up on some sleep this weekend. That way they know Im not going to be up for a 7 am hike, or a 9am brunch, but if they wanted to do an early happy hour Im probably going to be up for it. Ive realized that people sometimes ask this question to start a conversation about the weekend so they can tell you all about their exciting weekend plans. So the question layers, starting with are you free Saturday? Are a strategy Ive used to hopefully take the pressure off other people. These people arent trying to gotcha! How are you? Nobody seems to be doing well by this arrangement. "Hope you are doing well" is actually a pretty common opening line when people write emails. 13 "It was so relaxing. I honestly dont know how young people are functioning as well as they are, given that. I would actually be pretty weirded out by a friend who a) felt this was genuinely intrusive BUT b) also would not actually tell me they felt this was too intrusive. I think a more appropriate reaction would be to apologize once, politely, then go away and process what I did wrong by myself. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Important points about both solutions is a) she gets to participate in the decision and doesnt just get told and b) she makes her own timetable about chores. 3. If its just to bond, asking about past activities might be an easier way to accomplish this. No Response. I saved up enough to move out. They have the right to call on us and expect us to come through. Him: Nothing fun? I use the phrase same old stuff! In this situation. It forces the manipulators to cough up some version of their agendas, and galvanizes the friends with vague plans into issuing an actual invitation. All of these. Personally what works for me to feel non-imposed-upon is for someone to either tell me I have time to think about it, say hey if you cant I understand or similar, and generally act like they care about my opinions, feelings, and consent. So if someone said What are you doing next Thursday? I imagine they said Would you like to do something on Thursday? Feel free to say no if youre busy/dont want to, usually leads to assurances that she *totally* does want to hang out, Saturday is great, etc. If banal small talk that most people use is offensive to you, thats on you to tell people, I think. LW has a LOT of reason to be bugged by this approach to seeking a date it carries a hefty implied threat because of what abusive men in our society have built it into en masse. Yes! People use it for all sorts of reasons. And they come up organicallyI dont invent them just to make her jump through hoops. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) 100 Funny and Witty Replies to Rude Comments - PairedLife What are you up to on Saturday? has often been my go-to when dealing with someone (like my sister) that I *know* will feel pressured to accept whatever Im suggesting whether or not she wants to or has the time/energy for it. Am I supposed to answer? This isnt a high-stakes issue like the LW that was abusing their partner. This will hopefully lead to the two of you sharing what your plans are and possibly hanging out. Every time you see Pushy Neighbor, you go into this mode. Source: Facebook. And I think for online dating purposes Im going to assume #2 unless I get significant evidence otherwise. Ive spent some time in California and I never really know how to respond correctly. No.. The one my family goes with is Surviving. Most of them, anyway. Making conversions . E- Enjoying. Must say I kinda love your kids response. Its tiring. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. More words, people, not less. I just wanted to add that in my experience as a POC in a white majority country its mostly been well-meaning people who have made me feel discriminated against. ? comments. Some other commenters have pointed out that sometimes people use this question as an conversation opener or in order to seem polite while they actually want to tell about their own plans. Them (if it was small talk) *moves on to a different topic* This is such a common question, and I have a memory like a sieve, and once or twice replied Nothing much and accepted invitations which ended up double booking myself. So she says no. Its very jarring to see that thrown around when its a nasty slur here in the UK. Nothing much (I have one coworker who now sometimes asks me What are you doing this weekend? A possible script: Sorry, Aunt, if I dont do laundry this weekend, Im not going to have any clean clothes. Shes asked like this a few times. The Captains advice is great. At least Im bright enough to stay out of the control panel and remember my passwords. I ask this question all the time. After reading comments, Ive come to the conclusion that Ive over-generalized my preference (anxiety? (via Shutterstock) 7. If its someone from work that I have no personal relationship with, then Any plans this weekend? just sounds like office small talk, the forward-looking version of How was your weekend? If its someone I know personally, then Are you doing anything tomorrow? sounds like a way to try to trick me into agreeing to do something not-fun (because if it was fun, theyd ask outright). Bye. It seems to me to have grown somehow out of how do you do, to which the appropriate response was, of course, how do you do. 04 Mar 2023 17:27:26 So finding out if you have plans at a given time becomes an underhanded way of tricking you into agreeing to something, like LW mentions in point number 2. MY plans!) Its not a question I like either, some of which is due to manipulative/pushy people angling for my time/energy like in the letter, and some of it is due to feeling like I have to feign excitement or a more interesting life in order to keep the conversation going, which is draining (IDK if this is an introvert vs extrovert thing or like how some people seem to have no trouble filling the conversation or making their lives sound interesting; I am not one of those people). A party people pop quiz so to speak. Figuring out how my plans fit together is my problem, not anyone elses. I prefer living and working in places with a major international contingent for that reason so that different is what is normal. I was surprised what a relief it was to move to a completely different part of the country where I at least have the option of blending in. , Related the person who just assumes youre doing whatever theyve planned for you because its a family thing and youre family or I asked Z and they said you were free* or What else would you be doing? There are some funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" for when your family keeps asking you the same dull questions. 3. This is about the blandest, most banal small talk question I can think of.). And we do know that extreme surveillance is a very brutal and destructive form of torture. "Thanks, it was a chance to relax and I am grateful for that.". 53 Fun Things You Can Do This Weekend - LifeHack Can't complainI have tried, but no one listens. Not every parent who expects stuff from their kid is unreasonable. The hubs and I do the same. The comment is sometimes a small talk, meant to affirm that we like seeing each other, and sometimes a prequel to an invitation. Its also tripping flags in your head, which is infinitely more important. He would intentionally just hint around until they offered. Hence the claim some of your time, or even the if youre available as a way to say, you have to have solid plans if youre going to tell me no; you cant just say you dont want to do it.. 79 Funny And Flirty Response To "I Hate You" Better Responses If they play extra coy with me, Ill just be extra cryptic in return. You're supposed to live it and enjoy it. 3. How should I respond? Ive noticed that sometimes when coworkers as me what Im doing theyre really just politely trying to start a conversation about the weekend so they can tell me all about their exciting weekend plans. It makes you feel like whatever you do, you are expected to conform to being othered. Sometimes, it's good to be a little silly and fun! Good luck. I think feeling unsafe crosses the line where a relationship cant be repaired. Busy busy busy! Whenever people accept this answer, I know I am dealing with human beings who understand their goodness as a constant learning process. She does recognize that its a way people make small talk and that its not likely to go away any time soon. Not least of which, I never felt obligated to pick up on any of his hints ever again. The genered expectations in our family are much more of the women do the planning variety which can get super annoying when wed like to just go along for the ride every once in a while. Its not even really pushback. FRIEND: I am available [date]! (Seriously? Nothing? If the reason for you that you daughter should help you at X time with X thing is because family, is the reverse also true? Weekend is like God's blessing! Always? I actually get this a lot from people who are actually trying to start conversations, rather than invite me somewhere. Your friends and family will get off the phone with you and wonder why they aren't grabbing life by the horns the way you are. I usually list a few of the things Im doing and treat it as a conversation starter, i.e., ask them about their weekend. I also used to use it a lot until a friend pointed out this problematic history, so paying her work forward. Remember, . Are you planning something?. Another is that people your daughters age and under have grown up under a level of surveillance never before seen in the entire history of the human species. A: I'm planning to just take it easy. Thats not cool.. I have one dear friend in particular that has the busiest social life I know. There are variants but this one is always appropriate in all situations. Folding the dishes. I might be up for casual after work hangs but not going clubbing in that sketchy bar across town. If you use the same phrasing with suddenly a dramatically different meaning, its not other peoples fault if they dont know youve changed the meaning on them. Though I am at the point where if my coworker invites me to Toastmasters one more time, Im just going to cheerfully say, You know, I just dont see myself ever being interested in that. (Though I dont think its likely in this case since the last invitation went something like: Hey, if youre interested, Toastmasters is going to be at [X] time and Im going to be speaking, Great, have fun with that!, I know what that means.). I understand commenters who dont see this question as anything more than polite small talk. Published: August 09, 2021. But it is a cost. Sometimes I deal with anxiety all weekend and its hard not to judge myself for that. I disagree concerning the Where are you from? part. Boy, do I need it. There is literally a meme that says When you ask me what Im doing today and I say Nothing, it does not mean Im free. 3. It leaves me an opening to decline politely once everything has been said. parents of adult children pull this exact same rude little stunt, I am the parent of an adult child who is living at home, and I have been training myself since her teenhood to say, I would like to claim some of your time this weekend or I would like to ask a favor for this weekend, if youre available. or would you help me with X instead of are you busy? (OK, sometimes Ill say, Are you busy? I really appreciate the feedback from the Captain and other commenters about the need to own my time and feel more confident in my right to respond when and how I want to. Like, if you say you have nothing really planned, and you get asked to babysit or on a date, are you actually okay saying Sorry, cant this time? It can be so hard to set boundaries with the inlaws! The first time I heard this, I wondered who opened my brain while I was sleeping and pulled the song out and put it in a movie soundtrack. A friend tricked me into agreeing to babysit her kid once using exactly that so what are you doing on X day approach. In fact there the joke of cant do that, I have to.. (silly excuse of having plans like go wash my hair) that day illustrating that sometimes the white lie of making up plans is an easy way to get out of doing something. Getting up before 10:30 drinking some more beer and starting to work on my truck/dirt bike this should consume your whole Saturday until about 10:00 then you drink lots of beer and head out with your buds. I mean, where are you REALLY from, but whats up is harder, since nothing/dont know tends to elicit a why not? or you should be/do more fun! And I dont know what to say to that, because no just seems rude and I didnt invite them to improve my life. With colleagues especially, Im not looking to hang out just looking to connect on something, find out what they like about, get to know them better. Although I do the opposite: Im ALWAYS busy/have to work, when certain people ask. Thats the kind of bullshit that is so often behind the oh Im so nice to your differentness behavior belief that you shouldnt be what you are, and that you probably did something not right to get there. You an also use it to deflect people like the commenters who are entirely not malicious, because it can serve the same purpose of filling small talk, providing a topic of easy conversation, and/or signaling that you are busy but flexible to people you actually like.

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